Chronicle of a birth
Giving birth has been the most painful and surreal experience of my life.
I came out of a trance.
Once again, I made plans that didn't work out. I prepared for something very different from what actually happened.
Among the scenarios that crossed my mind, I never considered the possibility of an induction*.
My birth plan was to have my baby at a birth center . The hospital felt like a cold, impersonal place; without an assigned gynecologist, I would be examined by the doctors on duty and the nurses would come and go.
What I didn't want to happen... happened.
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What is induction?
Inducing labor means causing it to begin through the use of medications and/or tools that accelerate the onset of contractions until the baby is born.
When labor is induced, oxytocin ceases to be a natural ally. Instead of the body releasing it gradually to help manage pain, it is administered artificially, and the brain doesn't have time to adapt or activate its own pain-relief mechanisms.
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It was Thursday, October 16th. Eric and I arrived at the birth center for Luka's weekly ultrasound checkup. "Low amniotic fluid," I heard. The midwife then spoke with us and informed us that they could no longer care for me at the center; I would have to be transferred to a hospital.
Confused, we headed south for a class we had already scheduled— a newborn prep class —but Eric hadn't driven more than ten minutes when we received a call from the birth center : They had already arranged our admission to the hospital. We had to grab our bags and head there ASAP .
Hospital admission
Once at the hospital, I was assigned a room. My mom said goodnight and went home. Eric stayed with me.
The mission was clear: to dilate the cervix . Throughout the entire process, Luka, I, and the contractions would be monitored.
Chronology of my labor
23:00 First vaginal examination + ¼ Cytotec pill.
02:00 Second vaginal examination: 1.5 cm dilation. The doctor suggests placing a balloon to accelerate the process naturally.
2:30 AM Balloon placement. It was very uncomfortable: they tried twice before succeeding on the third try. They offered me intravenous fentanyl for the pain, but I refused; I intended to give birth without anesthesia. The pains began, mild but constant, preventing me from sleeping.
11:00 My mom arrived to give moral support.
12:30 Gaby, my doula, arrived . She lit candles, put up lights, and transformed the room into a peaceful space.
13:00 I placed the TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) on my lower back to relieve the contractions.
2:00 PM The contractions intensified. The nurses offered anesthesia again and again; I kept saying no.
16:30 I released the balloon: I had dilated enough to enter the active phase. The contractions were already unbearable; I felt like I was going to faint from the pain. I gave up and asked for anesthesia. My options were:
Intravenous (fentanyl): Gaby did not recommend it because the substance crosses the placenta and can affect the baby.
Epidural: It required two bags of saline solution before it could be placed.
I chose the epidural. They started administering the first bag.
17:30 The second bag of fluids was not yet finished when my last stage of labor began: I felt the need to push.
17:45 I was examined; the doctor intended to break the water, but discovered that it was already fully dilated and that the water had broken —probably when the balloon came out—. There was no time for an epidural.
18:00 I got into a squat position on the bed.
18:05 The doctor indicated that I should start pushing: Luka's heart rate was dropping. There were several nurses and two doctors in the room. I felt overwhelmed; in the classes I had learned that the body knows when to push, but the pressure made me forget everything. I pushed and pushed, even outside of contractions.
6:30 PM Luka is born! What joy! They immediately placed my baby on my chest, and within minutes I was breastfeeding. He and I are adjusting to our new world.
While she held it, the doctor began stitching me up: I had a second-degree tear (out of four possible). I was grateful it wasn't worse.
Postpartum
Another thing I discovered: how difficult it is to go to the bathroom after giving birth.
My body seemed to have blocked my urinary opening. When I tried to urinate, I fainted. Luckily, Eric and the nurse were there to catch me.
I left the hospital on Sunday, October 19: with a baby in my arms, without a belly, torn and with hemorrhoids.
My mom used to say that once the baby is born, you forget about the pain. That's not true.
While holding my newborn baby, I was trembling with nerves and discomfort: it took them over an hour to stitch me up. I was lucky it wasn't a third-degree tear—in that case, they take you to the operating room.
They also say that the body takes about six weeks to recover… and the mind? Perhaps longer.
Even so, there is no other option but to trust and focus on the present.
It's okay to cry: tears of joy and tears of sadness.
Thankfully, Luka arrived safely and in good health. Soon, the shock will be just a memory, and the joy of sharing life with him will overshadow any pain.
Time is wise. So is nature.
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